Never the blues purists, The Mellotones have always managed to incorporate a number of styles into their music. The three string slingers: Mike Donkers (guitar; second from right), Mike Sedee (bass; far right), and Ruben Klabbers (guitar; 2nd from left) have a lot to do with their peculiar blues style. They even shed light on the power of a good old pint of Guinness!
SSS: Okay, who are you!?
Mike D.: I’m Mike Donkers, the Dutch guy who talks like a yank. I taught myself to speak American English without any accent. I also taught myself to play the guitar. I combine these two talents on stage wherever we play, including our native country of Holland. This often leads people to believe we’re an American band. I was born and raised in Nijmegen, in the southeast of Holland, and I still live there. I’ll be 37 this year.
Mike S.: I’m a 23-year-old youngster and by now I’ve been playing in bands for about 10 years or so. I started on electric bass when I was 13 and switched to drums a couple of years later. After seeing The Paladins live for the first time I dropped the drums and immediately bought a doghouse bass. From this moment, I regarded music as a more serious ‘waste of time’. The instruments I play are harassed by me without having had lessons or anything of that kind, which explains my unorthodox style. Luckily enough, the other slingers in The Mellotones are as self-taught as I am! Besides slaying strings in The Mellotones and The Doubleshots I’m a student in History at the University of Nijmegen, The Netherlands. Guess that’s pretty much who I “am.”
Ruben: I’m Ruben Klabbers, a 24-year old geezer from Nijmegen, The Netherlands. I play guitar in two bands, The Mellotones and The Doubleshots.
SSS: How did Mike and the Mellotones come to formation?
Mike D.: We started out as a Texas blues trio in 1993. We popularized the style here in Holland, just like the Fabulous Thunderbirds did in the States. We were one of the first bands to play blues with slick haircuts and slick suits. Mike & the Mellotones was born out of a need to play the blues Texas-style, just like our heroes the Vaughan brothers, Ronnie Earl and the Paladins did. Ours was always a loud and rocked-out style and sound, but over the years it evolved and became more eclectic, drawing inspiration from various types of music. Now ten years down the road we’re a four-piece and call ourselves the Mellotones and we play a kind of Texas blues meets classic and southern rock we like to call Nu Bluz.
Mike S.: I’d like to add to Mike’s words that the choice of getting two new Mellotones was a decision made because of the musical evolution the band has undergone. When I was just a fan, Mike & the Mellotones was already a band that played on the edge; it has never been a straight bluestype trio. Jules’ departure gave Mike & Rens the opportunity to get a more eclectic style which combined all elements of music played throughout the 50’s till now.
Ruben: I think Mike D. pretty much says it all here. I first saw the trio play in 1999 and they really blew my mind. I’d heard some cool blues albums in my life but here was this huge live energy blasting through me like a whirlwind. I asked Mike D. if I could do some roadie work for them, so I could see the band play a lot and see some other places than the village I lived in. When Jules (former bass player) quit the band Mike D. asked Mike S. and me to join The Mellotones. We greedily accepted his offer and here we are.
SSS: Would you guys consider yourselves more of a live or studio focused band?
Mike D.: Definitely a live band. There’s nothing like blasting away on a stage and looking the crowd in the eye. The best moments are when the band and the crowd both reach a mutual frenzy. The energy in the room can be very spiritual then, almost orgasmic.
Mike S.: The adrenaline that keeps you on your feet is just IT. Instead of just concentrating on music – which of course is essential – it becomes more of a trip. And that has led to some pretty psychedelic strays!
Ruben: It’s great and really good learning experience to be recording in the studio, but there’s no such thing as playing live in front of people. Filling the room with huge guitar sounds, throwing around a lot of energy and getting it back from the crowd, talking about a natural high!
SSS: Let’s talk touring. How much? How far? What’s the worst gig you guys have had? What’s the best gig you guys have had?Let’s hear some stories fellas.
Mike D.: Over the years we’ve played in Holland, Germany, Belgium, England, Ireland, Switzerland, France, Denmark, Luxemburg, even Egypt! The best gigs IMO are the ones we play in England. We’ve been going over there since 1999 and every time we play there we get the most intense crowd responses. I believe if there’s one country where we can actually achieve some kind of breakthrough it would have to be England. The worst gig I can remember is one we did in a town called Dronten in Holland. The crowd was made up of a handful of local yokels who weren’t the least bit interested in what we did. They actually sat at the bar with their backs turned against us! We cut our set short by playing mini versions of our songs with only one chorus and a less-than-10-second solo so we could get the hell out of Dodge! I don’t think anyone ever noticed…
Mike S.: Yep, England is absolutely great. What is quite a big difference for us as Dutchmen, is the fact that those Britains understand Mike’s lyrics plus they have a tradition of Rock. It so happened that last year we went to a festival, to which Jack Bruce (Cream) lived very close by – just some blocks down the road! The Green Hills from The Free’s and Zeppelin’s songs are the hills you walk in the London area… Playing there is like coming home. But there are also those nights that do not go exactly as planned… I remember this gig in Germany where we experienced the striking power of The Gear That Breaks Down. During soundcheck everything was tips and tops. By the time we entered the stage we had a full house and we were off to go, hadn’t Mike’s purple plexi gone mad and squealed like a pig! Onstage, Mike opened the amp and nothing seemed to be wrong but the squealing continued. When Ruubz checked Mike’s stompboxes, it turned out to be a malfunctioning Vibe Unit. So, exit Vibe Unit. We started playing and then my amp broke down. I was using the Major solely through an Ampeg 4×10″/1×15″ hybrid cab I just bought and because of the fat low end the speaker cable blew out of the cab – shut down this amp. I got out my Ampeg SVT-II and continued playing but because of the impedance I could only use the 4×10″ OR the 1×15″. There was no power in my sound at all, mostly because I had a broken guitar cable plus I broke a string in the next song. Unbelievable!? The story continues… Mike’s plexi saw its speaker cable blowing out just like mine did and while Mike was checking what was wrong this time, he completely crashed an onstage light with lots of broken glass as a result. Now I believe that at this evening Ruubz used two Super Reverbs plus a Leslie and one of the Supers just quit, so he continued without the Super and the Leslie he was using with it. He also broke three strings that night. As I recollect all this, I remember that Lorenzo discovered a crack in one of his crashes on this very night. That is pretty much what The Gear That Breaks Down meant to us.
Ruben: I love to get out of the country, meet a lot of people, see some great scenery. The furthest I ever went was to a place called Quiberon in France. We drove 700 miles in our van in one day. That makes it pretty hard to grab some energy together for the gig that night. It’s also really cool to see foreign people behave differently as an audience. Especially in England and Germany they seem to have a lot more respect for live music than in Holland. Nothing wrong with playing in Holland though.
SSS: How do you guys overcome the difficulties of a working band? On all levels…
Mike D.: One of the major difficulties is that we’re still weekend warriors and that even after 10 years and five albums we’re still not able to live off of the music. I guess you can call us semi-pros. I run a booking agency called Mello Music and have the Mellotones as my biggest client (surprise!) but before I started booking I was a teacher of English and Dutch for 7 years. That’s the financial side of it. On a personal level we’re all friends but that doesn’t keep us from telling each other the truth as we see it. Setting each other straight like that is what keeps you together as a band – provided it’s constructive criticism, of course. Although we crack bad jokes all the time we try to maintain a professional attitude about our music and look at it as work, fun work, but work just the same. For example, we don’t drink alcohol before or on gigs.
Mike S.: It’s hard sometimes. As I mentioned, I’m a college student and of course that interferes with the band at certain times. Ruubz left college for this reason! Luckily enough, it hasn’t come as far as having to chose between music and college for me. But if you know that you’re surrounded by people that are on the same ride as yourself, it’s just a path that you walk side by side. “All noses in the same direction,” as we call it. This is elementary if you want to succeed with your band. I think that we are very blessed to have the possibilities we have in our lives, being born in a country wealthy enough to worry about plexi’s and stuff! At least once a day, this thought pops at the surface of my head. So, it’s just a relative matter of how many ‘difficulties’ you have to cope with.
Ruben: We try to be honest to each other and just have a lot of fun. Making music can be hard work indeed and you gotta take it serious. Just make sure everyone has an open mind and can handle some criticism. I think what also helps a lot is when we’re not playing, we hang out a lot. We’re really good friends and that makes working together a lot easier.
SSS: Where did your musical passions begin in life? With what styles of music, what dreams and desires?
Mike D.: Like most white, middle-class kids I grew up listening to rock music. I remember my dad playing Queen, Electric Light Orchestra, Wings and Gerry Rafferty in the 70’s. I became a big Elvis fan in 1977, when he died and Elvis-mania broke loose. I then went thru several musical phases. The one that stuck was the southern rock phase. I LOOOOVE Skynyrd, Allman Bros, Molly Hatchet, Blackfoot, Outlaws, Marshall Tucker Band etc. I’ve always been a big fan of The Free and Bad Company as well. Paul Rodgers, Greg Allman and Doug Gray (from the MTB) are still my all-time favorite bluesy rock singers. I guess I’d soaked up a lot of blues from listening to these bands when the blues bug bit me in 1979. A buddy of my brother’s brought the first T-Birds album to our house and played it. I heard Jimmy Vaughan wailing on the guitar with Kim Wilson singing and I knew right there and then I wanted to be able to sing and play like that. The same thing happened to me again in 1983 when the first Stevie Ray Vaughan album came out. I didn’t start singing and playing until 1985, tho, when I was 18. My first guitar was a cheap Jap strat copy by Maya. That’s the guitar I learned to play the blues on and I knew at age 18 I had a lot of catching up to do. Thru the white blues and rock influences I backtracked and discovered the Kings (BB, Freddie, Albert), T-Bone Walker, Buddy Guy, Magic Sam, Otis Rush, Howling Wolf, Muddy Waters, the list is endless.
Mike S.: I remember growing up with a lot of early Eric Clapton, Beatles and Joe Cocker. I still think those names are geniuses, although I thought quite different when I was in my teens: I sought for more aggressive and less melodic ‘music’, such as Slayer, Biohazard, Cro-Mags and Earth Crisis – metal and hardcore that is. Through my girlfriend I got back to ‘real music’ from the likes of The Paladins, The Fabulous Thunderbirds and of course Elvis, about five years ago. As for playing music myself, I’ve always had (and still have) the need to play music that makes people go ‘Oooomph, this is some heavy sh*t’! I just like to blow ’em away, I guess… My dreams and desires circle around the thought of being able to play our kind of music and having just enough success with it to make a living.
Ruben: I first got a major mind-blow when I was 17 and heard Muddy Waters for the first time. That really changed the way I listened to music. From then I got into a lot of blues, with a lot of help from Mike. These days I try to be a more complete song-oriented musician instead of just a fancy guitar player. I listen to a lot of soulful rock, like The Black Crowes and Free and just love blues and soul music. I also like a lot of new-style groovy music like David Holmes, I think it’s really cool to mix electronic grooves with Albert King licks and Muddy Waters samples! I’d love to do that one day.
SSS: Any coincidences that are landmarks in your personal musical developments? What coincidences brought you together?
Mike D.: Prior to my own band I had been playing in a blues-rock band, called the Keystone Cops, together with my brother. I didn’t like the musical direction and wanted to form a Texas blues band. Then one day in 1992 in a bar in my hometown of Nijmegen I met Jules, my former bass player, and he was playing in a blues-rock band called Tightrope and he also didn’t like that band’s musical direction and wanted to play blues Texas-style. We decided right there and then we would form a band together. We both quit our bands on the same Sunday without either of us knowing this about the other person until we called each other up! Jules was the band’s bassist for ten years. He quit in 2002 to be replaced by Mike and Ruben. The name Mellotones is another such ‘coincidence’. I simply woke up with it in my head one morning. It’s so apt because in the blues you can be called Slim when you’re actually fat, or Shorty when you’re tall. We play louder than shit and call ourselves the Mellotones!
Mike S.: Ruubz used to go to University some years ago, which was where we first struck upon each other. One night I had a gig and I broke a string on my double bass during the soundcheck. I never had a back-up set of strings (no dough!) so I had to go to the local music store to get it. Ruubz worked in that store and of course I invited him to come down that night for some rock ‘n’ roll and ear damage. Luckily enough, he showed up! He told me during the break that we should form a band and I immediately knew he was right. Never heard the man play, but we just had some kind of understanding. So, we hooked up and two weeks later we had our first gig with The Doubleshots which was the bomb.
Ruben: Coincidences? I met Mike S. when I was still working in a music store. He was filling in in a Rock & Roll band and broke the low E string during the soundcheck. He came in just in time to buy a new one and asked if was interested in hearing some good music that night. Always in for a brew, I went there and found out this guy was a monster on stage! We started our own rockabilly/blues trio and ended up in the Mellotones. Had he never broken that string….we might have never met and the bands we play in might have never existed……scary huh?
SSS: Describe to us how the three of you blend your styles to form the collective sound of The Mellotones.
Mike D.: I still have that big, woody Texas tone left over from the blues days. All the fuzz pedals, octavias, and uni-vibes can’t hide that. Ruben comes from Hendrix and SRV. Mike used to play hardcore punk rock music, then rockabilly and then blues and rock. Our drummer Lorenzo has always been a 70’s rock player. I guess where we all meet is bluesy rock and rocking blues.
Mike S.: My personal input has roots in a lot of musical styles: blues, rockabilly, soul, funk, country, pop, rock, metal, etc. It’s the simplicity and laid-back timing of blues, on-the-count country timing, majors & melodies from soul, funky grooves, catchy pop-tunes, aggression from metal and so on. I admire Lenny Kravitz a lot, because he has a lot of these elements in his songwriting and playing. Plus he plays killer bass! I’m heavily influenced by Cliff Williams, Dusty Hill and Keith Ferguson as well. In The Mellotones, every member has total freedom to fill his own parts. We don’t tell each other how to play this or that, which results in a sound that is pretty much our own I think.
Ruben: Yep, Psychedelic Texas Soul Rock with a little bit of blues.
SSS: What kind of rigs do you guys each play? Could each of you describe your concepts behind your rigs (what tones/styles you are going for)? Are you all there yet?
Mike D.: I started several threads on the SSS forum on my three amps. If you haven’t read them already, the threads called Super Reverb Mods and Purple Plexi are particularly interesting. They basically deal with the many, many mods my ’64 and ’66 B/F Fender Super Reverbs have undergone and my ’94 purple Marshall RI SLP 100. Suffice it to say that each SR is now 70w, so they each sound like two SR’s (!), and the purple plexi is now a Super Bass with KT66 tubes. Guitar-wise I’m a strict strat guy and a maple-neck one at that. In January I was lucky enough to buy an ’80s Tokai Springy Sound and it’s simply the best strat I’ve ever had, even better than my ’93 vintage reissue Fender. After 10 years of experimenting with guitars, pickups, tubes, amps, pedals, and what not I can honestly say I’m making some definite choices. Like any guitarist I guess my search for the ultimate tone will never be over but I’m getting pretty damn close to the tone that I’m hearing in my head.
Mike S.: I play an American Fender Jazzbass Standard from 1999 with Rio Grande Vintage Jazz PU’s. It’s a bass with lots of mids, which is quite handy in this band. Personally, I think the Rio Grandes really made the guitar come to life. They add such a warmth and richness to the sound. I’m very happy that Rio Grande and Tokai have agreed in an endorsement deal for yours truly, although this news is so fresh that I haven’t even paid a visit to get me one of those basses and pickups! Soon enough my findings on this matter will be on the SSS forum, I promise. My main amp is a 1993 Ampeg SVT-II thru a standard Ampeg 8×10″ cab. To me, this is the Holy Grail, although it would be even better if I had four of ’em. Or six. It’s loaded with 6 Sovtek 6550’s and delivers FAT tone. I ordered a sextet KT88’s by JJ just a couple of days ago and I’m very curious what they will add to the sound. My hope is that it’ll make the sound more round and musical instead of the straight forward 6550’s. Although it’s a +300 watt amp, I always drive it towards the edge of what it can handle. And yes, I blow tubes too often. I don’t like the dull sound of an amp which does not have to work hard. My personal sound is a fuzzy, hairy, in-your-face bass. In order to get that Fuzz, I have two other important elements: a 1968 Marshall Major plexi and a Prescription Electronics Depth Charge stompbox. The Major fuzzes through a Marshall 2×15″ cab with Eminence Kappa speakers. These speakers are actually 600 watts each, so you could say they have some headroom… Although the Major has the name of being ‘the loudest clean amp’ ever, I have to say that this only counts for guitar. When used for bass it produces a real thick fuzz when pushed to the edge, simply because it can’t handle too much low end. I’m planning on modding this amp to give it more headroom, which would allow me to turn it up further before it starts to fuzz. At this moment the Major is loaded with 4 KT100’s, but I’m planning on replacing them with KT88s as well. Listen to ‘E Pluribus Funk’ by Grand Funk if you’re interested in this kinda fuzzy bass!
Ruben: For the smaller venues Mike’s Super Reverbs work fine, but for the bigger and outdoor stuff my rig needs a bit more power. I’ve got a white Marshall plexi reissue and it needs some work. I want to put a point-to-point board, better transformers and 6550’s/KT88’s in there. I like a big clean, round tone with tight low ends. I’m also planning on building some amps myself, I don’t know squat about electronics but our amp doc does and I do have some cool ideas.
SSS: Your album, Not The Same, has a rather raw feel to it. Describe some of the influences as well as some of the originality that is coming out in this collection of songs.
Mike D.: Everything ranging from Iggy Pop-type punk rock to Free/Bad Co.-like pretty songs, Led Zeppelin, Steve Miller, Hendrix, it’s all there on the album. We even redid a talking blues from two albums ago with a computerized hip hop beat! Cypress Hill has got to be my favorite hip hop group. And of course there’s the blues, particularly the Texas variety, but we did make sure there’s not one shuffle on this new album! After shuffling ourselves silly for a decade we decided to work with different rhythms and feels.
Mike S.: It’s interesting how many different influences fans distillate from our new album. I’ve heard reactions ranging from ZZ Top to Iron Maiden, Queens of the Stone Age to The Allman Brothers and so on. I’m very proud of this fact, ’cause it means you can’t just push us in a corner!
Ruben: That raw feel will always stay in there, no matter how commercial we would write our songs. Definitely the result of playing blues for all those years.
SSS: Artists have always experimented with elixirs of all kinds in feeding their minds in order to always be connected to the non local domain of creation. Some have used virtue; some vice. Others couldn’t really give a shit! What are your elixirs>if any?
Mike D.: Guinness, definitely Guinness, the elixir of life. For me it’s actually a lot of not giving a shit. Even as a Texas blues trio we were pushing the boundaries of what was accepted in the blues. I find blues lovers to be often very shortsighted and narrow-minded. I still remember the looks on my blues buddies’ faces when I told them how much I dug Rage Against the Machine! Blues is a very powerful elixir but the world doesn’t end there. The most potent elixir, though, is the energy of a good gig. There’s no greater high than a natural high!
Mike S.: I’m particularly fond of Tequila, especially Jose Quervo Gold. A fine pint of Guinness is always welcome and I agree with Mike’s ‘natural high’ of a fat gig, it can stay with you for days. I drink water all day, so I guess that counts as well. I haven’t experimented with stronger stuff lately, but in my high-school days I’ve been a little bit of a nasty fella… All that is in the past, fortunately.
Ruben: Guinness indeed! A free lifestyle is what keeps my mind open. I do what I want and don’t take life too seriously, after all it’s just a ride. Healthy food also makes me feel real good and can give a lot of inspiration. And I have to hear and play a lot of music.
SSS: Who does most of the writing? Maybe tell us a bit about the chemistry of your group? Any weird formulas to your band?
Mike D.: That would be me. I write all of the words and most of the music. The band does contribute to the arrangements but I come up with the weird twists and turns. In the future I’d like to write songs with Mike and/or Ruben as well.
Mike S.: I’d like to add that it takes quite a while for The Mellotones to have a song definitely finished. When it’s written, we consider it a first version and in the next six months or so we play it onstage to test the arrangements. Most of the songs on ‘Not The Same’ have a considerable past, some of ’em dating back to 1993! Or so I’ve been told…
Ruben: Mike D. is our number one poet in the band and does indeed come up with the sickest twists and turns one can imagine. I just try to catch up with him!
SSS: How about the chemistry of some of your favorite groups? It has been said that the drummer from Guns ‘n Roses was often-times drunk, so Slash, Axl, and Izzy recorded their parts first (with drums being overdubbed!) to keep the timing solid. What unique formulas have the Mellotones come up with?
Mike D.: Nothing as exciting as that going on in the Mellotones, I’m afraid. We’re all very together and focused. Like I said, we regard the music as fun but most of all as work. That means no drinking on the job and certainly no trashing of hotel rooms or any of that rock & roll stuff. I guess we’re pretty ordinary and mundane that way.
Mike S.: Haha, nothing like that in The Mellotones! We have a strong discipline, with drill sergeant Lorenzo on the battery as The Big Toe – remember Sergeant Hulka in Stripes? Referring to the G ‘n R story: I’ve never liked those kind of stories, to be honest.
Ruben: Mitch Mitchell and Jimi Hendrix, there was some chemistry being thrown back and forth! But like Mike says, our own group has some great chemistry on stage. It tends to get a bit telepathic sometimes.
SSS: What are some of the ways that you guys feel music can affect our world for the good? What about for the bad? what about for the strange or peculiar?
Mike D.: Music unites people of all ages, races and backgrounds. I know it’s a cliché but that doesn’t make it any less true. You can make people leave the room smiling after a gig. I also try to have something to say in my lyrics but if people only pick up on the beat of the song that’s cool too. After all, we’re entertainers, not politicians or preachers. Music can be used in a bad way by neo-Nazis, for example, to promote any kind of sick doctrine. Music can also get weird and leave you dazed and confused, to quote a Zeppelin title. Music is a vehicle to people’s souls. How you use it is the responsibility of each individual musician.
Mike S.: Nothing to add to Mike’s words. He said it all!
Ruben: Making people feel good, passing on some positive energy, that’s the least we can do. Then again, I’d love to write a song with some Dylanish lyrics some day, throw my soul in the political ring! But that’s pretty hard.
SSS: Any insights as to how human cultural evolution is affected of musical development. Or do you think it is the other way around? What kind of ripples do the Mellotones try to send through the universe?
Mike D.: The message is simple and direct: just have a good time and don’t take yourself and things around you too seriously. I think a healthy dose of adolescent humor and adult responsibility makes for a good balance, don’t you?
Mike S.: Hmmm, interesting question! I think that human cultural evolution dictates musical development mostly, because throughout history music seldom had a role so big that it could affect human cultural evolution. It’s not because music doesn’t have that kind of power, but more because of the fact that it’s a minority who sees that strength in music itself. The vast majority has more interest in politics, economics and religion, I guess. But there are certainly some era’s in which music sent out such strong ripples that it affected the whole community. I can’t think of a better example than the fifties and the birth of rock ‘n roll music, which of course exerted an influence that can be experienced till this very moment and many years to come. The sixties and seventies are direct consequences. I can’t imagine that music will ever take such a place in the worldly environment again. And that’s not necessary, I think. Music is more about having a good time; it can kill the fun of it to give it too much of a weight.
Ruben: Once I get my amps loud enough, all wars will be over.
SSS: What is it like playing music in the Netherlands? Tell us about both traditional and modern Dutch music!
Mike D.: Traditional Dutch music is either opera-based stuff or 2/4 and 3/4 marching-band stuff. Nothing that rocks my boat. I guess we’re very Prussian that way. Nowadays, though, we have Dutch rock bands and even hip hop bands. Some of them are actually pretty good. We have a lot of bands for such a small country.
Mike S.: Word is that the Netherlands is a very down-to-earth country, which has its good sides as well as its bad sides. I personally think that The Netherlands is indeed down-to-earth in some perspective, but there’s just as much bullshit in the scene as anywhere. What it comes down to for me is that most of the Dutch people are of the well-I-don’t-know-cause-I-don’t-recognize-it-type. It’s very idiotic, but most bands consider each other as competitors and they don’t try to learn from each other. Dutch people are real complainers – which is of course very obvious with me whining here about our little country. Hurray, we have some irony! Musically spoken, The Netherlands is not a country that loves innovation. Not many bands try to produce something new or adventurous, but mostly they stick to a formula that was invented when we lived in caves and trees. Fortunately, it seems that a new wind is blowing through the Netherlands.
Ruben: Dutch audiences can be quite hard to play for, that’s why we turn it up!
SSS: Describe a typical Dutch lady friend.
Mike D.: Dutch women will not look away when you make eye contact! They’re very direct and straightforward and as a guy you stand a good chance of being picked up by a chick instead of the other way around. Dutch girls are very liberated. Also, because they ride bicycles they have firm asses and legs. We have a high concentration of beautiful women in this country.
Mike S.: Well, Dutch women are very liberated indeed and that’s a good thing. Women and men are fully equal on all fields. Since we have what they call a ‘multi-racial’ society, they come in all sizes, shapes, colors and forms. For all tastes there is a species – isn’t that great? YES IT IS.
Ruben: Dutch women are beautiful. There are a lot of mixtures walking around here as well, half-Indonesian quarter Italian, quarter French, RRRRRRRRRRR!
SSS: Ok, fellas. We’ll close out this interview with a good ‘ole Dutch joke!
Q: What has eighteen legs, eats cheese, smells bad, and has a florid complexion?
Mike D.: Nine Dutch women at a cheese fondue that’s too hot?
Mike S.: Sounds like The Flying Dutchman, part 34.789b, in which Gérard Depardieu plays a balsinesque Prigredyr. Haven’t you guys seen it yet? Oh… you’re so square!
Ruben: Oh, that’d be me. Sorry for the smell.
SSS: A: A Dutch baseball team playing with the head of a decapitated Belgian.
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